


Macabre Of A Diamond

by chrissy2



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Domestic Violence, F/F, Grieving, Sexual Assault, Sexual Frustration, physical fights, some language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-17 22:32:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11860986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrissy2/pseuds/chrissy2
Summary: Yellow learns of Blue visiting the Earth without telling her, and she isn't too happy about it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing and I get no money.  
> *Also, the shattering of Pink may have been wrongly timed here. I really thought the shattering happened shortly after Ruby and Sapphire. But others say it happened before. If it's wrong, sorry.

Blue couldn't remember the last time she had a casual conversation with the other Diamonds; how dysfunctional. Yellow faded in and out of her soldier persona and her fits. The demise of Pink Diamond had changed everything. In their early eons, it seemed nothing could bring about a Diamond's fall. Each gem had a place in society, and each had a design, a choosening.

Blue could not remember when the tears started falling. She kept herself locked away after the shattering, isolating herself from the Court, from her affairs, the parties, the gem to see her the most her own Blue Pearl, reminding her when to regenerate and when her appointments were. The tears did not start right away. For a while, she felt nothing. She was numb.

Yellow filled in for some of the affairs she refused to tend to, be it because she was too tired to or was in pain -  _physical pain -_ from the mourning.

Yellow had handled her mourning in a different way (that is, if Yellow felt anything at all, Blue sometimes thought): Militarism, an increase in work, some of Blue's meetings included.

_I have been the one keeping things together._

_It was me that read and signed the treaties for **your** gems. _

_I'm tired, Blue. I can't do everything for you. You hardly do anything. What is a Diamond to her subjects if all she does is wallow away?_

Yellow being considerate enough to fill in for her may have been enough to convince Blue that Yellow, at least at one point, perhaps eons before, had felt something. Blue knew it was to raise her back up, and she knew she had to pull herself together. And that was it: Blue could control her soldiers, her servants; she could control the trades and the resources from the colonies put specifically under her rule when they claimed them; but she had a difficult time controlling her tears and their flow. She had a difficult time controlling her thoughts about Pink. After five thousand years, you would think the memory of Pink would not bring her pain anymore.

But it wasn't just the fact that Pink was gone forever.

It was also the fact that a Diamond could be shattered in the first place.

And what a crisis of the mind it triggered.

Eons ago, her life seemed flawless. She and the others were loved and followed and the owners of several successful colonies. It was a perfect flow and it would never end.

Now, now it was just a crowd of anxious subjects that did everything they could to make sure they wouldn't feel the wrath of a Diamond and risk being shattered forever. They didn't love their Diamonds. They feared them.

Especially Yellow.

"Where exactly have you been going?" Yellow finally asks the question Blue had been waiting for her to ask, waiting for her to get it over with. "Where have you  _been_ going?"

Blue returns the gaze from across the court room: "Where do you think I've been going?"

"If you're going to visit that  _hideous_ rock, at least inform me before you go." The tension is enough to make the air of the empty court room denser for their two giant forms.

"And why should I tell you anything, Yellow?"

_Are you calling me a traitor?_

"Sneaking to enemy territory - countless times - without informing anyone - is suspicious. You need to think about these things."

"Her territory is not enemy territory."

"It  _was_ her territory, Blue. But it's not anymore. It  _hasn't been_ for thousands of years." Yellow's annoyance only seemed to grow with each sentence, her diamond pupils growing smaller. "Now it is the home of Pink's killers."

_No thanks to you._

"Must you always be so resentful? Why add to the grief? Aren't you tired of it all?" Blue knew it was not a card that pulled any less on Yellow's strings, but there was a point to it all. "Just leave them alone and let us keep her legacy." 

"Them."

_The humans or the Crystal Gems? The war criminals?_

"You sent a Peridot and a Jasper there, did you not?"

"The Peridot has joined the Crystal Gems, and the Jasper is missing."

"What makes you think she has joined them?"

"Why _else_ would she turn against us? She told me she wanted to destroy the Cluster."

"Maybe it's for the best."

"Best to leave the murderers in peace?"

"Best to destroy the very thing that led to the shatter. I feel it is my punishment."

"Punishment?"

"I truly believe so."

"And what exactly are you being punished for, Blue? It's all in your head."

"Five thousand years ago, before she was shattered, Rose Quartz and her Pearl invaded my Court by Pink's, the Earth below." From the corner of her eye, Blue could see the small reaction of her Pearl below, head tilting up. She had almost forgotten their Pearls were present.

"I remember." For the first time since the conversation started, Yellow did not seem annoyed, but curious. Interested in the final point to Blue's story.

"One of my Sapphire's prophecies was altered."

"Altered?"

"She had never been wrong before. But a Ruby changed it. She fused with my Sapphire. I ordered that the Ruby be shattered."

"As you should."

"They fled to the Earth below. I believe they joined Rose Quartz."

"But neither of them ended up being shattered."

"But I ordered it, Yellow."

"You actually think you're being punished for the mistreatment of - a fusion?"

"Fusions are made - by love."

"Blue."

Blue turned away, her face crunched up. Yellow had figured out. She isn't sure if she had suspected it all along, or was just now noticing, but she could not look at Yellow when she was about to put it into words. It actually made her feel embarrassed. Yellow's condescending tones made her feel no different to a puny Peridot or Pearl.

"You  _loved_ Pink." There it was, that hint of disgust in the very word.

"I don't know how it happened!" Blue turns back, insisting. "I just..."

"Well, you were Diamond."

"Even if she were any other gem, I would have - I _saw_ myself in that Ruby and Sapphire. I saw  _us_ in them! I didn't ask to feel those things! And I'm sure that they didn't either."

"What are you talking about?"

"Ugh!" Blue stands from her chair, frustrated. She can only stomp a few steps over and stare at the marble mall. "I never expected you to understand anything. You're so - "

The screeching of a chair's legs being pushed violently back along the floor is enough to tell Blue that Yellow stood up as well, being level with her. "What, Blue?"

"You're so unfeeling! You're all about battles and invading, continuing the things that cause tears." Ironically, Blue was not crying for these words.

She was too angry.

There's a silence. And just before Blue can reconsider their behavior in front of their Pearls, there is a response. Blue could not believe such soft, nearly hurtful words were being said by Yellow: "You really think that way about me? You think I persuaded Pink to handle the Earthlings the way she did?"

"Have you ever once loved someone, Yellow? Thought about that one gem day and night and nothing and nobody else? Wanted to do all you could to never hurt them or make sure no harm ever came to them?"

"What is love, Blue? Where does it come from?"

"I'm not sure. All I know is that I felt it - and I _still_ feel it."

Another silence, and the cruel rumble of Yellow's demanding tone returns: "If it is this love that has made you cry and wallow in this  _pathetic_ self-pity all these years, then I don't care for it. I don't want it, not ever."

There's a fiery pit that builds inside Blue's cold core, for the first time in lifetimes, and she is unable to process her deeds until she can feel the same burn in her knuckles, and hear the echos of their Pearls' shrieks along the marble after her fist collides with Yellow's cheek, diamond to diamond.

After the burning and shrieks, Blue could feel her slender body tremble from the thrill, from the fear. Yellow's eyes mirrored Blue's, diamond to diamond.


	2. Chapter Two

Blue stared at herself in the mirror of the pool water. These dark circles under her eyes: Where did they come from? How long had they been there? 'Blisters', she believed humans called them. 

_Pearl._

_My Diamond._

_At ease. Please. Sit down. I wish to speak with you. And I don't want your legs growing tired._

Their pearls must have been frightened at the sight. How horrible. Blue always admired Yellow's Pearl for her obvious pride in her master, but now Blue realized she prided herself among the Pearls because her master  _was_ the luminous Yellow Diamond. 

Her Diamond was insulted yesterday, and she did nothing to fight back. 

And she couldn't imagine how her own Pearl must have viewed her. She wondered what all the Pearls of the Courts spoke of amongst each other. She wondered of their rumor patterns.

_You were there for the assault yesterday._

_Yellow Pearl and I remained at our posts. We are not permitted to intervene until you say._

_You must have been frightened._

_We were concerned. Your well-being is of the utmost importance._

_You must be disgusted by me._

_Not disgusted, my Diamond. Concerned. It is not my position to judge you. Only you shall judge me._

_Even when I have been cruel?_

_I don't understand._

_Do you remember when Rose Quartz attacked us?_

_I do._

_And the Ruby and Sapphire fused._

_Yes, my Diamond._

_Before it happened, when Sapphire stepped up to me, you looked frightened._

_I was saddened._

_Saddened?_

_It was saddening to hear of her speak of her own end in such a way._

_But her Fate was changed._

_Yes._

_That Ruby was almost shattered for...I ordered it...Without thinking about how they felt._

_I was relieved that the future she envisioned was a miscalculation._

_And me? What did you think of me?_

_That was a very long time ago, my Diamond._

_Do you believe I have changed, Pearl?_

_I believe we all change._

_And Pink Diamond and myself - did you know?_

_I did, my Diamond._

_Now I cry._

_And I shall cry with you. If that will be all, my Diamond._

**_"Only you may judge me."_ **

**_"Only you may shatter me."_ **

As stubborn and persistent Yellow was, Blue was surprised when Yellow messaged her, requested to see her in her chambers. And so soon. Good. The sooner, the better. There's another noticeable reaction from her Pearl at her Queen's immediate response. 

"It's alright, Pearl," Blue assured. "I must apologize."

She bows: "I shall inform Madam Yellow of your response."

A small dread lightly eats away at Blue as she waits for Yellow's arrival. It was like the boil from before had crusted over and was merely steaming. 

The waiting Blue is so deep in thought, deep in battling the dread and coming up with the words to say, that she jumps and gasps when the Yellow Pearl beams into physical form before her, her boisterous voice announcing: "Madam Blue Diamond, my Queen is here to see you."

In despite of what had happened, she remained prideful and proud.

"Thank you." It may have looked silly, but Blue stood for Yellow's arrival, wanting to show respect. Her bright figure appeared in stars, and when the Golden Queen opened her eyes, the Diamond were level, their gazes instantly connected. "Yellow."

"Blue." A stern tone, but patient. No anger. Blue knew her anger. This was her soldier persona, steady and controlled.

Blue drops the formalities and lets her sympathy unveil, in eyes and in voice. "Yellow, I - "

Yellow keeps her demeanor and lifts a silencing hand up: "Don't."

"But - "

"Oh, honestly, Blue, I'm fine," the soldier persona drops a good bit, teasing apparent in her voice. There's a small smirk. "If anything, I was impressed. I didn't think you could hit that hard."

Blue finally relaxes, shyly laughing. "Neither did I."

"Now, we must continue from before." Of course. Back to business. Whatever. Blue was just relieved Yellow wasn't angry about what happened.

"Continue?"

"I need you to promise me that from now on, you will inform me before going to the Earth. In times of war, sneaking to enemy territory without informing your gems is questionable. I need you to understand that."

"You think this is a time of war?"

"It might as well be, even if it is more of a cold one. Say if something were to happen on Earth while you were there - I wouldn't know. If something were to happen to you, it would be on my hands. We did not know about Pink until it was too late."

It was a strange macabre, a strange feeling creeping into their thoughts. Diamonds could actually die in battle now.

"You need to stop bringing those human filth back to our ships. What if they were to be spies?"

"I highly doubt any human I have brought back is capable of bringing us any harm." As far as she knew, humans were incredibly simple. 

"You forget a mere Rose Quartz shattered a Diamond."

"That was a gem, not a human."

**_Where is the Sapphire I called for?_ **

**_She should be here shortly._ **

Blue could tell the psychic was a bit nervous to meet up with her that afternoon.

_**Is there something wrong, Sapphire?** _

When she did not respond right away, Pearl reminded her that her Diamond had been waiting patiently for her vision all morning.

The Sapphire knew she had to answer to her Diamond's wishes, but she struggled to find words. There's a bow and whisper:

**_My Diamond, I am afraid._ **

Why was she afraid?

**_My vision..._ **

Yes?

**_I fear for Madam Yellow Diamond._ **


	3. Chapter Three

The only thing Blue could remember was the unbearably loud sound of something crashing. The breaking of glass, or an explosion, perhaps? This crashing sound is enough to shake her very core and is usually what wakes her up. She could only remember that and some inaudible words being said. She could not tell whose voice it was, or if it was a voice she knew, or the number of words, but she could only assume the count was under ten. 

She thought about it so much because she believed she had dreamt the same dream before. Perhaps more than once.

**_What do you mean you can't say?_ **

**_My Diamond, please. I still don't fully understand the vision myself._ **

Blue was more or less upset with the lack of details.

**_What do you know, then?_ **

**_I'm not sure about that either._ **

Blue found herself huffing:

**_Well, what did you see?_ **

**_It was difficult to tell. I could hardly see anything._ **

**_What did you hear?_ **

**_I heard words, but I could not make out what was said._ **

**_What does this have to do with Yellow Diamond?_ **

**_All I remember is seeing a tall golden figure in blackness. It may not be Madam Yellow, but I don't know who else it could be._**

'Cold sweat'. It was another term humans used. 'Waking up in cold sweat' after a 'night-mare'. Blue believed she found herself waking up in such a curious and unpleasant way, struggling to breathe, as if she was nearly scared to death. 

_My Diamond? I heard you screaming. Are you alright?_

_I was screaming?_

_Yes. Might I call for the Doktor?_

_No. No, that won't be necessary._

And so it had come to this.

"Blue? What are you doing here so late?" Yellow stood in the doorway to her chambers, arms crossed to straighten her neck and back naturally, her features expressing something between annoyance, tiredness, confusion and amusement. 

"I, uh - I couldn't sleep." Meanwhile, Blue felt slouched and sloppy in her loose chamber robes. Yellow was out of her usual armor-looking attire as well, dressed down to a skin-tight blouse and pants that showed the outline of her tall, lean figure. These were in fact Yellow's informal clothes, but she somehow always managed to look formal.

"Is this about what that Sapphire said?" she simply asks, her features unchanged.

"Uh, well, yes." It was both simultaneously refreshing and infuriating how well Yellow could read Blue. Although they had 'grown up together' (another human term), and were almost 'like sisters', Yellow mastered at reading almost all Gems and other alien creatures. It is what made her such a good soldier, a good strategist, a model Diamond. "How did - ?"

"Word gets around here very quickly." Her eyes roll. "Now come inside, Blue. You're making me nervous just standing there."

Yellow steps to the side and lets Blue enter, a hand gently resting on her back, guiding her.

"Well, excuse me for being concerned." Naturally, like any other meet up in her chambers (which may have been long before), Blue sits at the side of the bed that is the closest to her desk.

"Did you have a bad dream?"

"How did - "

Yellow chuckled as she sat back down at her desk, multiple screens and logs floating about, gleaming. That was probably why Yellow seemed to be formal at all times. Even in her chambers, she was working. (Blue could just hear White Diamond now: 'See, Blue. You could really learn something.') "Classic Blue. You really don't remember at all, do you?"

(And the voice of White did not seem to be too far from Yellow.) There's a sting. "Yellow, stop patronizing me."

"Calm down. You have run to me in the past because of bad dreams."

Blue thought for a moment. She had, hadn't she? Come to think of it, her superstition was even worse back then.

"I wouldn't worry too much about it." Yellow opens one screen for a message and responds by dragging a chart from another. "You said so yourself that you witnessed the altering of a gem's Fate. Either that, or it was just an incompetent gem not living up to it's design."

"I can't help it. I - "

"That's your problem, Blue. You're too emotional. You can't just sit and ponder. A ruler never gets anything done that way. Your subjects can't wait all eternity for results. They need your decisions right away."

"Sometimes it's like you want me to punch you again."

Her laugh is godly and vibrant. "I guess that is who you are and you can't change that - but I myself have a hard time believing in things like that. Prophecies and visions. It's all of tenuous nature to me."

Blue sighs and stands, instinctively flattening the wrinkles from where she sat. "If you're just going to ridicule me and patronize me all night, I'm going back home. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother anymore."

"Blue, wait." The quick Yellow, the quick golden soldier, reaches for Blue's wrist. "I didn't mean to hurt you. Please. Stay. We can get some work done together since we both won't get sleep tonight."

Blue hopes she gives her a look that is enough of a warning and sits back down. "You don't understand, Yellow."

"Then tell me. Meaning with words and not your fist."

It's Blue's turn to scowl and roll her eyes. But there's a smile to follow. "You may think it's pointless. But I can't lose you, Yellow. Maybe you can make it on your own, but I can't. I can't lose another Diamond."

Without rising from her chair, Yellow leans in Blue's direction, a long arm stretched out to lightly tap beneath her chin, a gentle but firm urge to get the fellow Diamond to look at her. "Blue. Blue, look at me. You won't lose me." She then smiles a half smile. Not a big masking smile or a smirk of amusement. "You have nothing to worry about. It was just a dream. And prophecy or not, the Future can always be changed."

They talk until the notifications from the numerous screens are consuming and Blue continues her line of work from Yellow's bed, opening and answering her own.

_Yes? Who is it?_

_My Diamond, this...this is Holly Blue Agate._

_Yes. Is there something wrong, Agate?_

_My Diamond, I...I have..._

_What is it?_

_I...Pardon me, Madam. There has been a miscommunication. Good night._

Her usually vocal Agate shuts the log off.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope the shifting back and forth doesn't give anyone a headache. But I like to finish stories quickly, before I lose interest in them. And this is the best I know how to keep the flow.
> 
> (And don't worry. The steamy stuff's coming soon.)

That absent dream again. The blackness full of shapes she can't remember. Those inaudible words. A horrendous crash and waking up in cold sweat.

 

_Anything?_

A different Sapphire, same results:

_I don't understand it enough._

Nothing in sight is recognisable, and they can't understand the muffled words.

 

"Did you bring back another human from the last time?" Yellow asks, now that she and Blue finally have a bit of free time. Somewhat.

It was back in the main Court today: Members of the Court coming and going freely, flaunting their fashions, their reputations amongst each other, picking others apart behind their backs, as the two Diamonds dine, have meetings and answer the numerous calls and channels.

"I did."

"What coordinates?" Blue tells her the exact coordinates, describes the 'country' in which she brought back the human male from. "Ah. Alright. It's nowhere near them."

_Them._

"Strange kind," Yellow then comments beneath her breath.

"They are incredibly simple, and yet they managed to survive this long in their primitive states."

"Ugh. I don't want to hear about it."

"It's their romances that interest me."

"Romances?"

"Their arts, their poetry. Their love. Their - mortality. How everything is powerless, but has more meaning. They don't live very long at all, so it's all or nothing."

"How depressing. I wouldn't get too interested in it. How can they stand to live that way?"

"It's the only way of life they know."

"They won't even _try_ to fix themselves? Ugh."

 

_Pearl, close the door._

Blue removes her cloak to glance up at the hundreds of bubbled Rose Quartz floating about.

It's such a beautiful sight. When the lights were out, it was like a pink starry night.

What is the point of bubbling them all away for eternity?

But why should all Rose Quartz suffer for the crimes of one?

Each gem came from Pink's hand. Each gem was a part of her entire being.

If they are shattered, it is the literal end of Pink's name and existence in the known universe.

It is a reality Blue cannot yet face.

What is the harm of bubbling them away?

They can't commit crimes this way, and it is not bringing Homeworld any harm.

 

_"... **Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living**..."_

_"... **To the wo-man, he said:**_

_**'I will make your pains in child-bearing very severe;** _

_**With painful labor you will give birth to children.** _

_**Your desire will be for your husband,** _

_**And he will rule over you'..."** _

Most depressing, indeed. Blue was, to say, privileged, to think that no gem would ever want to trouble their bodies with child-bearing. Some races did it, either because they had no choice to thanks to their mortality, or because they wanted to. She didn't understand it. She herself had witnessed the public birthing of a queen and it mortified her. That's right: The public birthing of a prince. It had always been done on that planet and it was considered an honorable thing to witness, almost like gathering for an eclipse. Such a strange tradition.

Blue could barely remember the rise of the Diamonds. Barely. She knew her gem was formed naturally in the mixing magma, water and soil of a faraway planet. She couldn't remember the name. It may not even be there anymore. She believed it had been long consumed by a super nova.

She knew she and Yellow were 'formed' around the same time. ('Twins', humans called them.) Their gems remained in the soil for millions, maybe billions of years, before some kind of force pushed them to the surface - an earthquake, rolling ocean waves, erosion - to the light, where their light-composed bodies were formed. She remembers that it was a relatively small planet, and it was mostly uninhabited, and their 'designs' would later become inspired by the few races they would come across.

(Blue believed it was the 'common body shape of the universe': The two arms, two legs, a torso, a single head with two eyes, a nose, mouth and ears. And although they had the most common, most basic of body types, the races they would come across in their first days were either predominately or completely female. Over time, the growing Diamonds soon shifted into feminine-looking, curvy, heavy-breasted, child-bearing, round-featured beings, even though they did not necessarily need some of those traits. Even Yellow's look was inspired by them.)

The silence of her 'birth' is the most peace Blue had ever experienced. The quiet before doubt and responsibility.

 

_The land here is dry, the ground hard and cracked._

_No grass, trees or vegetation of any sort seen for miles._

_No water. Just the cracked ground below, the mountains_

_far away, and the gray sky above, the wind whispering._

_That is all Blue sees and hears._

 

"That Agate of yours," Yellow then starts, her eyes still focused on the numerous floating screens. "The one at the zoo..."

"What about her?"

"She's usually quite vocal. Wonder what happened the day she called you."

"Oh, I'm sure it's nothing."

"She seemed nervous. Hesitant. Like she was hiding something."

"Oh, Yellow, please. I'm sure it was just a mess-up."

"What is there to mess up? It's a ship in the middle of nowhere. Hardly any visitors for years at a time. All they do is keep the humans locked away and make sure the place is clean. I think you should check on that."

"I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary the last time I was there. I'll see for myself the next time I visit."

 

_Look! There is color among the dry gray._

_Blue can't tell..._

_She takes a step, then another, and another until she sees the unmistakable form of a gem on it's back among the cracks._

_Blue is distraught: It is the form of Pink, her body cracked, like the ground._

_The late Diamond's eyes turn to look at her:_

_**"Only Diamond can shatter Diamond."** _

_Blue screams, but nothing comes out. She feels her own throat. There are no vibrations._

_That's when she also sees the Yellow and White nearby._

_The cracked Yellow speaks:_

**_"Only you may shatter me."_ **

 

Blue's eyes snap open to the pink starry night above her. And it takes a moment for Blue to realize that a part of the lights she is seeing is not a part of the glowing gems, but the lights of the alarm. The roaring sound kicks in not but a moment after.

_My Diamond._

Blue sits straight up, her head light for a moment, and she has to bring her fist up to her eye to stop the dizziness. Her speech staggers. "Pearl! What's going on?"

"I don't know!"

"Well, contact Agate."

When Blue moves her hand away and opens her heavy eyes, a blurred Pearl tapping frantically away at a floating screen is seen standing at her feet. "I'm trying. But she isn't responding." 

Blue then staggers to her feet and orders Pearl to open the door. As they step out into the hall, the alarm ringing inside Blue's still-dizzy head, the nearest star shines through the hall windows and momentarily blinds Blue. When the light passes, the Diamond and her Pearl dart down the hall to the heart of the ship.

They stop when they run into the half-bred Earthlings.

"You! Amethyst soldiers! Jaspers!" Blue's commanding tone fills the halls like the consuming alarm and the soldiers all stop in place, saluting her.

"My Diamond!"

Finally, waving her hand above her head, Blue shuts the alarm off. Now she can listen and investigate.

"Where is Holly?"

"She..." one particularly bulky Amethyst starts.

Another follows, attempting to finish the other's sentence: "Madam Yellow..."

_Oh, no._

Suddenly, all is light again and Blue feels like she is floating off of the floor.

_What?_

"Madam Yellow was just here. She came to speak to Holly. Then the Madam got upset, and she - she vaporized her!"

_Why?_

"I don't know, my Diamond. Really, I don't! Holly told us not to interfere. I couldn't hear what they were saying. Holly said something that upset her and she vaporized her."

"Her gem, is it - "

"Madam Yellow took her gem."

"Took it?"

"Yes, Madam. She left with Holly's gem just now."

Another light glimmers through the windows and it is then Blue realizes that it is not a star, but Yellow's ship looming over the zoo.

The dread eats at her again: Blue knows she is waiting for her there.

_Who set the alarm?_

A guard much darker than the rest, smaller, and with imperfect teeth, steps from out of the group of lighter Amethysts. "It was me, my Lady." Her head dips down and she gives the Diamond salute. "Forgive me. I panicked. I didn't know what else to do."

"Don't be sorry. You did well. Please, wait here until I return. Take a break, look after the humans, try to keep things tidy. I'm so sorry this happened. You must have been frightened."

_My Diamond._

Blue and her Pearl excuse themselves, heading down towards the exit.


	5. Chapter Five

_Only you may judge me._

_Only you may judge me._

 

The blue and yellow arm ships connect at the palms, the fingers grasping, holding them in place.

 

_**Only diamond can shatter diamond.** _

_**Only diamond can shatter diamond.** _

 

There's the boil again, at Blue's cold core. She closes her eyes and inhales and exhales a good long sigh. Her and her Pearl's forms disappear and reappear as stars, reforming in Madam Yellow's ship. 

The golden queen is already there, waiting for them at the end of the empty lobby. Blue recognizes her soldier stance, unchanging face, and folded arms, one fist holding what Blue knew to be the mere gem of her Holly Blue Agate.

 

_**ONLY YOU MAY SHATTER ME.** _

 

Blue tries to contain herself as she growls over a dry tongue, growls from a dry throat: "What have you done?"

"What have I done?" Yellow retorts, almost mockingly. "You mean, what have  _you_ done, Blue."

_Cut the **shit.**_

She was in no mood for games: "You  _vaporized_ my most  _trusted_ Agate!"

"Ha! Trusted." Yellow takes one step forward, and then another, and another, the 'clawks' of her heels echoing against the marble almost hauntingly. They are finding themselves back at that time in the empty Court again, the air dense. "Your most  _trusting_ Agate allowed a human to escape with a group of  ** _traitors."_**

"Wha - ?"

With a wave of her hand, Yellow brings a floating screen into view, showing Blue the stilled images caught by the zoo's cameras: It's him. The human male she met at said coordinates. What business did the Crystal Gems have with him?

"I told you to stop bringing back those filth!" Yellow waves her hand again, dismissing the screen with the stilled shots. "Right under your very nose, Blue. This is why we need to keep an eye on current happenings and stop wallowing in the past. Now they know things!"

"It's a very safe and comfortable zoo. What could they learn from it? They probably just wanted their loved one back..."

Blue already knows this compassion, this attempt to understand 'the enemy', is not going to move Yellow.

And she is correct: The golden queen raises a brow. "You used to be so fierce. Pitiless. A true queen. Now you sound like one of  ** _them._** "

"Oh, like you're any better? Vaporizing gems and frightening her Amethysts and Jaspers. You used to not be an unreasonable  ** _bitch."_**

Like lightening, Yellow leaps the rest of the way to Blue's front. Before the ghostly queen can even gasp, Yellow, with her free hand, reaches up to grip Blue's jaw. Blue reaches up, reacting only by gently grabbing the wrist of the gripping hand. Like her laugh and her stare, Yellow's grip is godly, enough for pain, but not quite. If Blue were any other creature, the grip might be unbearable, maybe even enough to split their head open. But for a fellow Diamond, it was almost tender, considering Yellow could be much, much worse. And as an empath, Blue knows she is conflicted. She can feel the mixing energies, the emotions in Yellow's hold.

Their Pearls below are frantic, pleading with their masters to calm down. _My Diamonds, please!_

A few moments pass. Yellow's hold loosens, but Blue is still unable to move. And with her loosening grip, her voice grows smaller. But the soldier is still there, commanding: "You will send those hybrid Amethysts away and execute all of those human filth - and then you'll get your precious little Agate back."

Blue responds by quickly reaching for Yellow's other hand, her grip on the helpless form of her Holly Agate. But Yellow counters Blue and there is a startling _pop!_  Like the release of a bullet, or a bold clap of the hands, or a small firework. The alarming echo of the slap is now ringing against the marble, the shrieks of their distraught Pearls to follow. The boil at the pit of Blue's core is redirected into the sting across Blue's cheek as she falls to her side, sliding across the cold floor.

**"And you will destroy every single one of those damned Rose Quartz."**

Blue's face only inches away from the floor and not directly looking at anyone but her distorted reflection, she allows her face to crumple up and both of her hands to curl into trembling fists: **"I WILL NOT."**

She can hear Yellow's clawking heels approach her and at this point, Blue doesn't care what she does to her. Blue would not care if her life ended at this very moment. She can feel one of her arms being yanked and she lets Yellow pull her back to her feet, now keeping a grip on her wrist, Diamond to Diamond; only one Diamond is limp with defeat, with no fight left in her.

Through clenched teeth, Yellow whispers, "Why don't you **fight back?** "

 

_There is a tiny shred of hope holding onto this pathetic life._

_It is a memory, a place Blue always goes to when she feels like disappearing:_

_That time of peace, when her and Yellow were 'young', when their bodies were_

_naturally constructing their own physical identities and traits inspired by the_

_women of that small, rural, uneventful planet._

 

"I don't want to fight you, Yellow." It may sound like another pathetic plea to Yellow, but it's true. "We _can't_ fight like this. We won't solve anything like this."

 

_Yellow can see the memory too, through their touch._

_She is experiencing the same nostalgia, that same longing for peace,_

_for a time that was a lot more simple, before the reality of Death,_

_before the reality of Shatter. It's all so beautiful, only knowing of_

_the blue haze of the morning mist, the faraway mountains,_

_the soft dripping of the waterfalls and whispering wind, the smell_

_of pine, the sighs of the insects..._

 

Once again, Yellow's features soften, but the stern soldier is still there. "Pearls, stay here in the lobby. We need to talk. Alone."

_But Madam..._

"I will not say it again."

Blue nods in agreement: "Pearls, please."

There is a moment of hesitance from the both of them, but they bow and sit down on a bench against the wall.

Blue feels another tug of her arm and she follows Yellow to the end of the lobby and down the hall. They enter the first room on the left. It's one of the many empty comfort rooms that once were used to give guests privacy during the parties. Blue had many empty rooms on her own ship as well.

Kicking the door closed with her heel, Yellow yanks at Blue's arm one last time and Blue is thrown onto the guest room bed. And before the ghost queen can react, Yellow is already straddling her, pinning her wrists, trapping her legs with her knees and her Diamond eyes petrifying her own Diamond gaze.

"You think I've grown cold. You think I am unreasonable and unfeeling. You're not the only one who lost Pink. You say you can't lose me. Well, I can't lose you either, Blue. But we can't all grieve. Someone had to step up and pick up all the pieces! I cannot stand by and let you wither away. You think I _enjoyed_ watching you cry for a **_goddamned millennia?_** How can you live with yourself? Well, I can't live with it.  **Not anymore."**

The golden queen traps the other with her lips, that hot invading tongue taking hers and Blue sees stars. Her vision blanks out into a stream of light.

If she is whimpering and fighting it, it's hopeless. Yellow's lightening shoots through the rest of her being and she can feel the mourning and the boiling pit melt into a starry high.

Blue had never felt this way before. If she let herself go entirely, her and her kisser would almost fuse into one being.

_Oh, god._

Yellow's lips and hot, wonderful tongue pull away slowly and Blue whimpers, the aftershock of the her lightening still there but fading away. Her blistered eyes look tired and her weak arms are reaching up to her fellow Diamond, begging for her to do that again. But Yellow instead places two fingers to Blue's lips, momentarily stopping them.

She begs with a hormone-filled voice: "Please. End this, Blue. Come back to us. Come back to me. I can't rule Homeworld by myself. Pink wouldn't want this."

Heat rises in her face, but it is not a boil of anger. Blue cries: "I shouldn't have dropped this all on you. How careless of me. I never thought of how this would effect you. I didn't think it did. You're so strong. You have been so strong all these years and I've just been - I can't let Pink go. But I won't let myself go."

Yellow kisses Blue's teary eyes, kisses her a dozen times all over, the lightening in the innocent pecks just as effective as her tongue on hers.

**_"Only you may shatter me."_ **

"What do you want?" she whispers in between kisses, moving down to Blue's neck and the gem on her chest and all around it. "What will it take to make you feel better?"

"It just doesn't make sense to me."

"What doesn't?"

_Only Diamond can shatter Diamond._

"I want to see Rose Quartz. _The_ Rose Quartz. I have to see her. I want her to tell me what happened. I want her to be put on a trial, and I want her to be punished."


	6. Chapter Six

It is the best slumber to Blue's memory, where she doesn't struggle to fall asleep and has no dreams. They say that gems are in no need of food, sleep, or reproduction. (Which is funny because the Diamonds were the first of their kind. You would think they would be the ones spouting these claims.) But as the eons passed, Blue learned that wasn't entirely true.

As she opens her heavy eyes to the dim lighting of the guest room, it takes Blue a moment or two to remember that she wasn't in her own ship and that she wasn't wearing her robes beneath the sheets: The beautiful, endless galaxy out the window to her left, the whites and yellows and blues and pinks mixing, and her Pearl resting on the futon at the opposite wall, as a loyal Pearl is meant to. There is a small gleam of light at the right corner that Blue at first thinks is a lamp. She now realizes it is one of Yellow's bubbles and in that bubble rests the gem of her Holly Agate.

At this, Blue sits straight up, instinctively pulling the sheets up with her for the sake of modesty.

She looks down at the sheets, remembers all that they had done and she is consumed with an entirely new feeling that she cannot yet identify. She holds the fabric close to her gem. They still had Yellow's scent.

 

_My Diamond, you're awake. Is there anything you need?_

  

Blue and her Pearl enter the control room, where the master of the ship is sitting in the captain's chair and is doing what she seems to always be doing: Looking at numerous screens. The Pearls automatically join each other's side at the back wall and Blue starts: "Yellow..."

"Blue," she acknowledges. "I sent an Aquamarine and her two Topaz to Earth. She seemed pretty damn confident. Hopefully, she won't be a failure like the last ones we sent."

Blue sits down in the closest chair. "You..."

"But with the information we have, the chances of her capturing Rose Quartz and those that are dear to her are pretty high."

Blue had mixed feelings about the _capturing her loved ones,_ but it was just a trial, and if she is in fact the guilty party, she would be punished. If Blue were to be inside the war-like mind of Yellow's, she would think capturing those dear to her would be a great way of keeping Rose Quartz in place. An old move, but a good one, although sly.

_**Only Diamond may shatter Diamond.** _

She would jump to the conclusion that Rose Quartz was automatically guilty, but Blue had been alone and tormented by her second thoughts for a millennia. She had a lot of time to think: None of the pieces they had added up. She had always been  _told_ that was what happened. Some pieces were missing and the picture remained incomplete, and she wasn't even sure the pieces she already had were apart of the puzzle she wanted to put together. Were the rest of the pieces on Earth with the simple-minded humans and the Crystal Gems, or were they...?

_Blue?_

"Oh, wha - ?"

"Did you hear a word I said?"

"I did."

"What's on your mind, Blue?"

"It..." Her thoughts waver. She's starting to feel like she is floating off of the floor again, biting her bottom lip and thumbing the fabric of her robes to contain herself. "It just doesn't seem to make sense to me."

"What doesn't?"

That question again.

"The Shattering."

"Pink's shatter didn't make sense?"

"It's the  _details,_  Yellow,"Blue corrects.

"Alright, which parts?"

There's White speaking through her again. "Drop that tone."

"Sorry. I'm just - overwhelmed right now." She really seemed to be. She hadn't once looked away from her screens.

"Just - how did it happen?" Blue continues. "How can the dull blade of a Rose sword cut through a Diamond?"

"All of her soldiers were present when it happened. Everyone saw it happen. Everyone saw Rose Quartz approach."

"But how...?"

"How what?"

"Could Rose Quartz  _really_ shatter her?"

"Well, Pink was her sworn enemy."

"No, I mean, was it  ** _physically possible?"_**

"You've been driving yourself crazy with this."

"Ugh." Yellow was pissing her off again. She stands up and her Pearl stands at attention.

"Look, we can discuss the entirety of this case when Rose Quartz is caught," Yellow concludes, still not looking at her fellow Diamond. "I need to look over these reports. And you need to do the same with yours."

"I can't believe you."

Blue just had a hard time understanding how Yellow could be so moody and yet also aloof. She vaporizes a gem to prove a point, is rough and then grows soft with her opposer, passionately and possessively making love for hours, grieving one moment and then doesn't -

"What?"

"Forget it." Blue heads back for the door and her Pearl follows. "We're going back to the zoo with my Holly Agate."

The fast soldier evidently stands from the captain's chair and reaches for Blue's elbow, the voice of her thoughts so clear that it almost sounded like they were being spoken aloud: _Blue, what we did - it shouldn't continue._

At this, Blue turns to face Yellow and yanks her arm away: _I wasn't even the one who insinuated it. How can you just pretend it didn't happen? Because it's **love?**_

_We need to keep this under control. Look at yourself, you're getting carried away over one tryst._

Tryst.

_**Tryst.** _

At this moment, Blue's nerves were reliving every sting and grasp from the mere hours before. She remembered every possessive bite. She remembered the soring grip on her hips and the pulling of her hair. She remembered Yellow slapping her ass as her tongue was in her holes. And just as much as she remembered those things, she remembered every soft caress Yellow dampened her touch to when she realized that maybe she was hurting Blue. She remembered how almost annoyingly concerned Yellow was when she was thrusting her fingers inside her, checking to see if she was alright as the pleasure built up.

_The next time you feel like insinuating whatever the hell that was, you can just go **fuck yourself.**_

The momentary silence between them must have really confused their Pearls.

"I'll message you when Rose is caught," Yellow then simply says, continuing the conversation aloud and straightening herself back up, bringing about that same old stone cold look.

Blue's outburst was more or less to get a more passionate response out of Yellow, and both of them were aware of that, so honestly, what did she expect? "What makes you so sure you'll catch her?"

"Oh, she will. I won't stop until we catch her."

"I'll message you, Yellow. Until next time."

When Blue, her Pearl and her bubbled Holly Agate energized themselves back onto Blue's ship, Blue asked her Pearl to type up a message of apology to Yellow, and to inform her that after the zoo, she was going to visit the Earth again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued in a separated story ;)


End file.
